20 Years After High School: Learn, Be Curious, and Always Build
Plus 5 tips you can use to succeed in love, life, and career.
I started actively developing myself and building my portfolio and skills when I was 30 years old. I'm 38 years old (almost 39) as of writing this post and I feel like I keep on hitting my head against a brick wall every time I try to break through the other side. Of course, I've made tremendous progress but sometimes it feels like I'm not where I would like to be at this stage in life.
Sometimes part of my plans work out well and I'm happy for those successes. Sometimes they don't and I fail but each time I fail to break through I know I can get back up and try again.
Have you ever felt like that?
If you have felt like that before, which I am sure you have, no matter what your age is then read on as I will explain in a semi-brief, but concise, story about some of my experiences over the past 20 years since graduating from high school so that I can try to help those of you who may be struggling or are curious as to what I have to write.
I'll also break down some steps of how to take full advantage of your situation at a young age that way when you're 38 or 39 you'll be much further along toward your goals than I am now.
If you think you know what you’re going to do when you're 18 years old, you're probably wrong. Believe it or not, your brain, your executive functioning section at the front of your brain, the prefrontal cortex, is still developing until the age of 25. Teenagers and young adults are hardwired for risk-taking. No wonder insurance for people under the age of 25 is so high!
This is probably one of the very reasons why so many teenagers have very little control over making the choice to pick up a self-development book, do something productive, or go out to the mall with their friends. The choice is easy for them because, of course, they will pick the easiest one most of the time! What they do not realize is that their future self will regret the time not spent on self-development.
There is a place to have fun, a time to have fun, and people to have fun with, but there's also a place for learning and helping yourself to grow.
I graduated from high school 20 years ago
In 2003 I graduated from high school and went on to a community college in Gresham Oregon. But at the age of 18, I honestly didn't really know exactly what I wanted to do. I felt like I wanted to be a music teacher, and I was very motivated to do this. In hindsight, I'm not sure what really drew me to that choice in career.
After two years at the community college, earning a substantial amount of credits, I transferred to Portland State University to continue my study in music education. The university was amazing because I got a chance to learn a whole lot, but I also got a chance to party a lot and meet a wide range of people from all over the world. I got so distracted meeting new people and going to several different university parties that I did not do so well in my studies. After two years of this type of lifestyle, I realized that I needed to change my attitude towards university so I can actually finish.
By this time it was already 2008 and I had been in community college for two years and university for another two years. Also, looking at the condition of the music education industry, I realized that it was not a really good choice because many of the music education programs in public schools were being closed down.
So, I decided to switch majors to linguistics because I loved cultures from all over, especially Asia, and I also loved learning languages. As I look back at that choice, I realized that I was better suited to the liberal arts and so just after two years I made another change to liberal studies and graduated a year after that in 2011.
Curiosity is the Main Thing
During my time in university, I discovered that learning is all about what you're curious about. Later in life (about 32), I discovered that if you combine your curiosity with what you're good at (talent) and what will help support your lifestyle financially (ikigai), then that is a perfect combination. After switching to liberal studies I was able to take several different courses that piqued my curiosity such as Chinese Woman's Literature, Southeast Asian Anthropology, Creative Writing, American History, Astronomy and so much more. I know it's a crazy mixture of topics but that's how I learn best!
Although I may not have had everything figured out, I realized that I was enjoying my studies a whole lot more when I just followed my curiosity. I was able to graduate and apply for jobs teaching English in Indonesia.
Life Changed For the Worse and Better After Moving Abroad
I didn't know what to expect when I moved abroad. All I know is that in 2011 I was excited to see the world. When I got to Indonesia everything was new; the sights, the smells, the food, and the people. Everything was different from my life in America.
For the first few years, many things were exciting and it gave me an opportunity to learn about a new culture and language. But then I felt like I started coasting again and I was missing something in my life. I was missing that curiosity that I had while taking several different courses about topics I was curious about in university.
However, I really loved teaching because I knew that it was helping students to learn well. I had a lot of fun engaging with the students with the materials that I had to work with. But one of the issues here is that working for a school requires you to follow the curriculum which kind of ties you down as a teacher and does not give you a whole lot of freedom to explore other topics with the students.
This was nerve-wracking for me because I wanted not just to help the students learn how to speak English well, but also to help them use their brains and skills to learn independently and develop their curiosities.
Around this time I had been married for two years to someone that I met in Indonesia. Marrying someone as amazing as my wife had a profound impact on my motivation to become a better person. It was time for me to follow what was missing in my life. Curiosity. So in 2015, I started picking up the habit of reading nonfiction and self-help books on a daily basis because I wanted to learn more about topics that interested me such as business, psychology, and neuroscience to name a few.
Since then I have been writing, filming, and posting all about books, learning and reading strategies, and trying to use as much as what I have learned from both my experience as a teacher and the knowledge from the books that I've read to help people who desire to follow their curiosities and use scientifically proven strategies to learn to learn well.
But my story is not all rainbows and butterflies. As I said, as a teacher at a school, I must follow the curriculum that the school provides. My career as a teacher was pretty much stuck.
Living in Indonesia has also been a problem for me because the primary language here is Indonesian and all of the content and programs that I have produced to help people learn to learn well have been in English. I do have the internet at my fingertips, but I cannot expand my network as much as if I were living in a primarily English-speaking country. As you will read later, networking is probably one of the most important aspects of having a successful career that you are happy with, because you can use your talents, your curiosities, and the people that you know to grow as a person.
Journey Through Masters of Education
In 2021, after 10 years of living and working in Indonesia as a teacher, I decided to take my Master of Education because I realized that if I do want to continue being a teacher, the best degree to have would be an M.Ed.
I'm grateful for the experience of taking this program that I am finishing at the end of May 2023 because I learned so much about what education is, what are the flaws of it, and how I personally can take action to improve upon my own educational practices.
To be honest, I may never use this degree to get another job at any other school in the future and I am definitely not going to be teaching in the public school system in the US. However, I will use it for my own personal knowledge and proof that I have gone through a program that officially makes me a credible and knowledgeable person who can help people to learn better.
Again, this goes back to the through line:
Curiosity is the driver of progress
I would not be the same person if it were not for all of the previous experiences that I've mentioned in this post.
I had to go through all of those confusing moments of my life after high school, during my community college time, and during my time at Portland State University.
I had to go through a time when I felt like I was missing something in my life; curiosity.
I had to discover that in order to grow as a person I needed to follow my curiosity through learning, reading books, and applying what I have learned in my life to share with others.
I had to take my M.Ed program to realize that maybe schools are not the best choice of career for me, but educating people in the way of learning is.
I have to continually iterate on what I've learned from my experiences in the past and present so that I can move on to a better future. We don't know what the future will be but we do have control over the future through the choices we make in the present.
This was my semi-brief explanation of the last 20 years of my life. Now let's talk about how you can succeed that way you will be much better off than where I am in my life at this current time of writing.
What you can do to succeed
Learn (through curiosity) + Organize + Act
Continuing education even after school is done is one of the most important things you can do for your present and future self. If I could change anything about my past I would have been more serious about my learning at an earlier age. I would have followed through with my Curiosities and taken more action on my talents and knowledge that I've gained.
Know that this is something that you can do right now for yourself no matter how old you are. Even if it's following your hobby at the age of 70 and gradually turning that into a side income. My dad is a good example of this as he has taken up his hobby of photography and turned it into one of his ways of earning an income with something that he enjoys doing.
My recommendation here is to keep track of all of your thoughts and feelings and things that you want to do in your life in a journal. This helps you to organize that information and make a plan to take action on what it is you want to follow through with.
Over time your interests and curiosities may change, and that's totally natural what you have to do is decide on which ones to narrow your focus on, dig deeper, organize, and act.
Find a career that challenges you to grow and don't be afraid to change careers if you need to
I noticed that after a few years of working in one place I tend to feel like I am stuck in a rut because I'm so used to the job that it does not feel like it challenges me anymore. This is a sign that you need to switch jobs or find a way to challenge yourself at the current place that you're working at.
You can also challenge Yourself by building your own business if you feel that that is something you are suited to doing. But not everyone wants to become a business owner, and that's totally fine because there is so much responsibility that comes with it compared to being an employee which still has tremendous responsibilities but many if not all of the business decisions do not land on your shoulder when you are an employee.
The point here is, continuously challenge yourself, don't let yourself get stuck in a rut, and if you do notice this happening to you, you know that it's time for a change.
If you take a job, build a side hustle too
As I mentioned before, look at what you're good at, and then build a business around that. Even if you're just freelancing and you're not actually owning a business, this is a way for you to have multiple streams of income and it looks good on your resume or portfolio.
A good example of this is with my social media presence and public speaking experience with BookMattic which helped me to get the job that I currently have at Sampoerna Academy. During my interview the curriculum had asked me what BookMattic is all about. She was intrigued and also please with what she saw and felt that the skills that I've built up through doing what I do can be beneficial in the classroom.
Another positive thing about building a side hustle while you're working is income security. As the whole world saw in 2020 when the covid-19 pandemic shook the world, many people lost their jobs. This was their livelihoods and all the sudden it was taken away. You never know what sort of natural or human disaster might happen next, therefore it is better to have a secured income other than your primary one.
Nourish and Actively Pursue Positive Relationships/Friendships
Who are you married to? Who are your friends? Do you have any friends from a long time ago maybe high school or university that you still stay in contact with and meet on a regular basis? Are these good people that help connect you with other like-minded people and help you to grow?
Your relationships truly matter, and sometimes building and keeping those relationships take years and could be destroyed in moments.There are no truly well-off people who do not have connections and strong relationships.
My recommendation here is to learn how to communicate well by communicating well regularly with other people, reading books about communication, persuasion, and emotional intelligence and actually building strong connections with people you know will be there for you when you need them and also give back to them when they need you.
Make friends with people you know will not hold you back. And the same thing goes, especially, for the person you marry. Life will become extremely unpleasant and difficult when you're married to someone who does not have the same goals or values as you.
Location Matters
Where you live in the world matters. Like I mentioned earlier during my story, I'm living in Indonesia, but the content that I create is in English. The city I live in is not the best city for growing a business that helps people to learn better. It's not such a good combination, but that does not stop me from trying my best.
So it's better to think about where you are in the world and which location best matches what you're working on. If you notice that it's not working so well for you, do research on places that match well and don't be afraid to make the move.
Keep on learning
I hope that my story and my five tips for you, no matter how old you are, have been helpful. I hope you find something that you can apply in your life.
Remember to stay curious, keep on learning and applying your skills. Grow your portfolio and continue striving to be the best person you can be.
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